There’s a way of understanding the teenage life is a hectic
journey.
You get so confused all the while, really you do. At least I
did even though people like to describe myself to be emotionally stable –which
is somewhat both true and false.
You don’t change of course, you don’t change by personality
that is certainly not in a short period of time without any developmental on
the failure dealing, nerve wrecking experiences, tears and exceeding happiness.
Everything takes time.
But what changes constantly regardless of life itself is
what lingers through your mind depending on the situation you are facing.
Honestly, if you were to be able to talk so much on dealing
a heartbreak for example, can you still not suffer once you get another one?
Or in short, to be optimistic when you are dealing with
something you don’t favor and gives you this negative vibe?
Imagine something happens, you, who is so open-minded in
everything and tries to understand whatever that is happening to you is
completely normal to anyone else and you shouldn’t bother about it.
Let me tell you something, being optimistic is such a great
feeling it leaves you with a whole lot of perspectives in life and gives you
guidance on how to satisfy yourself and others around you. You create empathy
within yourself but also knows when you should not be giving too much as if
they are taking advantage of you.
The person you are today, might be the person you will thank
tomorrow.
Life isn’t pretty, well especially if you haven’t gone through
the phase of the cliché’ ones like failing in exams, unable to make your
parents proud, to have your first love crush you to the maximum, unable to love
yourself due to the lack of achievements etc.
Crazy isn’t it? To be growing and falling so many times you
get fed up, but look at who you are today? Are you that person now? No. How is
that possible? Development. Maturity. Obedience to what it meant will happen.
But look at you now, seriously would you regret going
through such harsh period of time where everything seems to ugly? No, you
shouldn’t. In fact, you should thank God how it has drastically changed your
way of interpreting things and make the right possible reasons on everything
you decide to do.
Try rewinding your past self, can you notice there’s a
difference in you?
That past self is so scared of trying anything new because
when she used to be so brave until one year of negativity stumbles upon her,
threatens her to even make another move. She’s depressed, she’s so down, no one
was able to save her emotionally. She was drained.
She is a good representative for those who have gone through
the phrase of depression.
This is normal, if you’re still getting through it,
basically you’re not alone. But if that is the past self of yourself, you
should be proud of yourself as you have passed it all with a high spirit to
continue life as it is.
So here you are, trying to figure out ‘will I ever be
depressed in the future’? Maybe within weeks to come?
Though, I never ask myself these questions often because
what matters most is loving yourself at your present state. No over-thinking at
all. Great idea. Let’s just say you’re completely happy with your current life
position, relationship, studies etc. then suddenly one day something goes
wrong, but it is a repetitive experience –the same feeling comes again like the
one you’ve faced before.
You can never be immune to the bitterness of a specific
experience, that’s a fact. Go on talk to people about dealing with their
problems, their fears, be that strong person everyone comes and seeks
motivation for.
The motivation of what drives a person to make another
person feel better isn’t just because they have faced the problem before and
has a better understanding on how to deal with it. No, not just that.
In fact, I don’t like to read anyone saying or admitting
publicly that though they are strong emotionally but, they, too are the weakest
and seeks for protection. You know, those stuff like ‘girls are strong but
inside her she is crying’ kind of stuff.
People can be physically strong, for sure, but that doesn’t
indicate those who are either strong or not are able to deal with their
emotions at the most rational mind nerve. How can you make the right decisions
when your head is mixed up right?
Everyone is weak. Everyone cries. Everyone stumbles.
Everyone wants happiness. Everyone is desperate for anything that satisfies
them. And the list goes on.
In Islam itself Allah has proclaimed in the Holy Quran’ that
no human will be tested on whatever difficulties that he may not bear in the
world.
We’re all equal, really. What differs us is the life line
we’ve gone through. That’s all. That boy lost a mother in an accident for
instance, the pain he is bearing can be equivalent with the pain you’re
suffering after knowing you’ve had flopped all your exams. Yeah, the boy on the
first case may be the reason to your objection on saying it shouldn’t be same
certainly –especially for the standard of an examination which to you it can be
fixed and improved.
Plenty of orphans lead on their life to the fullest after
the deaths of their parents, and many other normal students had also attempt
suicide after failing in exams. Now tell me how can you say these aren’t equal
shares of dealing with the level of pain rate involved in an individual?
You’re maximum emotional pain rate may exceed to having to
know your house was burnt down and still see the positivity in life. But there
are also plenty of people around us who can’t even bear the idea of getting
through a heartbreak and survive. It depends on the strength of an individual
themselves.
You can’t judge a person being weak even on the slightest
problems they face. Because everyone’s immunity of pain rate given by God is
different. One thing you should always keep note of.
So don’t say and shout to another ‘hey you don’t know how
depressed I am, cause you’re so happy’.
Actually, the secret to every strong confident people is
being able to confront their feelings without the help of others. They deal
their troubled feelings alone. They are their own motivator. No, they too need
protection from others whom they trust and would share problems as well, but
only to their circles, not in public.
It’s not a sign of weakness wanting to tell those who care
about you on what’s whirling on your mind, it’s good because you’re confident
in expressing your feelings in a mannerly way.
Being back to the saying that girls seem happy but are the
ones that cries under the bed sheets at night, it’s true. But wanting attention
isn’t the deal of every strong individual here. You can share your problems,
fears, happiness etc with anyone you are comfortable with, but never, ever
depend your emotional strength on another individual –meaning seeking out
motivation fully from others instead of figuring how to deal it yourself.
You can however, again, this isn’t a sign of weakness. But
don’t rely and hope people who are dealing with their own problems can ease
your thoughts fully. I love people telling me about their inner thoughts,
feeling, anything really, it gives me this delightful feeling that they are
absolutely beautiful inside out.
But not everyone has
the urge to come closer to another and do the same when facing hardships.
Who is going to console you to stay calm when you aren’t
interested with any distractions at all?
I often ask myself this question. I don’t want to have
people telling me how to change how I should feel about it, but if they give
solutions it’ll be perfect. No matter how many people that are here by your
side, there are some things you just can’t seem to share. It’s unexplainable.
This is where your present you helps you ease your mind and
perceptions in the future. Instead of depending on anyone else, you start
believing in yourself more and make sure when you’re fully motivated, you share
it to everyone and let everyone get the vibe you enjoy having.
If you say the same girl that keeps people happy is the same
girl that cries at night with bitterness applies to every single girl, you are
wrong. The reason why a happy person would console others to love themselves
isn’t because they are weak, but is because they see the prettiness in loving
themselves to the maximum without having to rely on anyone and wants people to
feel the same too.
Even if you rely on anyone, they are just the additional
percentage of loving yourself on being who you are today. You will cry with
sadness only, bear in mind, only, when you seem to give too much to people and
gain so little.
Know how to balance your emotions. Help others deal with
their feelings when you’re happy with yourself. If you are in no mood of doing
so, apologize and say you aren’t able to satisfy the other’s expectation of you
to cheer them up. Not only when they are sad, but even if they want a friend to
waste time with when you’re busy studying. Learn how to respect yourself.
Never ever let anyone push you to your limits just because
they are selfish and hungry for their own satisfaction needs emotionally. If
you mean what you say, say it. If you don’t, don’t bother letting the others know.
Be original of who you are, what you are and whatever you speak out. No faking.
So, since I mentioned we can’t fully rely on anyone much,
how can we deal with our problems?
By becoming your own motivator.
Protect your emotions, care for your physical needs,
maintain your spiritual strength and you will make it, lil’ fighter.
It’s really wonderful if you have family, love ones etc being
there for you making sure you’re safe, all rounded happy, listens to your
problems and seeks ways to solve it. Sure, why not. It makes you feel loved
isn’t it? But don’t depend on any other individual even your family to deal
with your negative vibes. You can do it if you find alternatives. How? By
believing in yourself that you’re a fighter.
If you’ve managed to read this entry till the end, why doubt
in yourself? *sends virtual hug*
