Eventually, I've learned that we're bound to stumble into a variety of problems throughout our lives. And to be honest, I've reached a point where now the challenges are more stagnant (bearable since I've gone through worse), and now I've just kind of automatically have these things in mind.
1. Have a Strong Sense of Self-Awareness
No one should know you better than how you know yourself. Understand your habits, your reasoning to every emotion or experience, your strengths, weaknesses, and interests. If you've identified a mental health concern previously, keep note of the potential triggers. Learn to acknowledge the existence of your struggle of expressing emotions, even if you don't know how to properly handle them.
2. Be Comfortable With Solitude
Learn how to be comfortable doing things alone, do not allow others to influence the level of productivity or happiness you'll have. Be comfortable with enjoying solitude, the nights staying in bed watching your favourite show, the hours of studying alone at a cafe, hitting the gym alone. Most importantly, be comfortable dealing with your insecurities or self-doubts alone.
The goal isn't to be too independent or emotionally unattached, but to make sure that you are in a relationship for the right reasons, not due to the fear of loneliness. You'll know that you truly love them if you can enjoy being in your own presence. And it helps you deal with your own emotions better.
3. Aim to Be Respected, Not Likeable
Everyone wants to be likeable, but it shouldn't be to the extent of losing your own personal character. If you do not fit the mold, do not bother to change. Embrace yourself more, in fact. Aim to be respected -work on yourself physically/emotionally, strive to perform in your career, find ways to improve yourself, whilst not degrading others.
Do not take things personally, is the easier word. Anyone's judgement of you shouldn't be your concern.
4. Take the Wheel if the Mind Overrides
If you struggle with situations where your mind tends to feel too strong to handle, learn some methods (trial and error) on how to take control of the wheel. Learn how to disorient the mind from hyper-focusing on one issue alone (the root cause of overthinking, and increase tendency of drug abuse).
This can be from going to therapy, developing multiple hobbies, watch your comfort movie, share it with someone you trust, or address the problem directly (works like a charm) no matter how uncomfortable it is. Learn how to keep fighting, or let it go.
You will never have control in every external circumstances, but you have control on how you cope internally.
5. Learn How to Save Yourself
Not entirely different to Point 4. But an important reminder is, everyone is built differently. Recognise how you deal with yours and stay consistent. Imagine channeling all that negativity into a pipeline where it slowly transitions into a form of energy that can be used to work on yourself.
It's a renewable source of energy. (I'm being sarcastic)
Stressed? Go read a difficult journal article and write up. Frustrated? Hit the gym, do some cardio, or combat class (my favourite). The stronger you are, the bigger your demons. Do everything you can, do not give up on yourself.
6. No One is Binary
This may not be relevant to everyone, but I have this black-and-white mindset. It's either all or nothing which is very unhealthy. And now I learned that you can be a little bit of everything. You can develop multiple interests in a lot of activities, and still have plenty more to discover. You can feel both like a good but a cold person at the same time. You can be vulnerable and strong. You can be feminine and masculine. Sure, it can seem like you lack of consistency, but it also means you're adaptable to a variety of situations. Do whatever that works, for you.
7. Smile, Heads Up with Confidence (Even If It Makes You Seem Psychotic)
Smile, even if you are doing it with cold eyes. Look in the mirror and give yourself a long stare. It just works, I don't really know how to explain it.
