"God is fair for every human being. He doesn't create us perfect. In fact, he would never make us perfect. That isn't fair. Like her, she's outstanding in class but she has a broken family. You, have an average mark but you've got everything on family aspects. Try assuming if you're both smart and has a wonderful family, would you be the way you are today?".
Hmm, macam takda kaitan je with the point I'd like to say haha. I suck for the opening. Astagfirullah nevermind haha. That's a point on appreciating yourself.
Now I'm just wanting to rewind back what Ustaz Pahrol Mohammad Judi and Ustaz Muhammad Abdulullah Al-Amin were briefing on last 3rd January 2015 relating to the guidelines a parent must have for their child's security mentally and physically.
Firstly, as a parent (future parents as well) the one major act we ought to do for our child (or future child) is we have to make them recognize themselves. Their personality, their behavior and their intentions. Each of us has a natural talent and weakness. As parents we (wait, we?) should teach them on overcoming the weakness instead of sharpening their talents much. Example, if our child is smart in class but passive, teach them on being brave to speak up. What's the use of telling a talented painter to add more colors rather than telling him how to get rid of the unwanted spots on the drawing? Similar, the child is naturally smart so why budge? It's the weakness that matters for the effort.
One of the ustazs mentioned two reasons why parents are avoided:-
1.Karma. "The act of parents who doesn't love their children".
2.The child is apparently thinking they are enough to be independent on their own lives -no need of babbles, critics, guide or advises on their acts. Reality, yes?
Both are true as we all know, "the reason we're not being loved is that we haven't loved anyone". And true, on behalf of my agreement on the 2nd statement, teenagers, especially hate to be treated like a child but is expected to be an adult because we assume that we're old enough for this. But in any ways, that's likely to be due to the kind of way a parent would tell them. Shouting and etc. Parents really think those kinda alternative works? No further comments.
There are 3 main responsibilities for parents to hold on towards their child aspects. Take note future parents as well.
1. Choose your child a good name.
Saidina Ali onced wanted to name his son Hassan, with the name 'Had' which means war. We all know S.Ali was very brave and athletic so he thought naming his son Had would symbolize dignity. But, our prophet Muhammad S.A.W showed his unapproval because it is considered as a unsuitable name. The name of a child is their label. William Shakespear mentioned " A name doesn't differentiate a single rose". Well, no, roses aren't all roses. With every one speaking out one's name, it is too, considered as a pray for the individual regarding to their name. So, if your parents named you well, hug them.
2. Give you child a good mother.
Imam Malik R.A was onced complimented by his fello friends on having his children so smart and well mannered as he is. Plus, they also asked what did he do to them that made them seem as very blessful children? "I chose my wife wisefully". Like they say, when we seek for a wife, think of finding a madrasah for your children. Proof? A wife or mother is so important because we can see the weather of a marriage by just determining themselves. So if your dad married an awesome mother, thank your dad.
3. Supply them with good teachings.
One of the ustazs said we should give the teachings compulsory for them. In reality, there are parents who don't know how to read the Quran' so they sent their children to a private ustaz/ustazah who can teach them. They feel bad to not giving them guidelines but they also feel very embarrassed if their children knew they couldn't read so they won't even read the mukaddam' for them as well. The thing is, the ustaz said, even if a parent doesn't know how to read Allah's language, they should at least teach them their very first page of the mukaddam' like, "Aliff, Ba, Ta'". Parents should always make the first move then send them to people.
Loving a child as a parent and sacrificing yourself for them is a natural feeling everyone has.(or will have). But the problem regarding to today's society on having children who become so spoilt due to one thing.
They have reached the comfort zone.
"Have you ever wondered why on earth Israelian teenagers aren't as spoilt as we are? I mean, they're the ones, too who are given all sorts of entertainments that decays us. In fact, their community was the first to introduce music and etc? How could they be pleasantly spoil-free? "
Aha, don't even think of saying they didn't have entertainments and it was all due to the medias which says they do like we do but are actually a recording and a non-reality. But based on the ustaz himself, the reality is they do have the same entertainments like we're being 'manipulatedly' exposed to. The reason why they don't become spoilt is because their parents were on guard on them with the principle " Go and play, but come back by 11". Their life is limited to them. That's what made them successful. Hmm, that's what my parents did to me. Laugh out loud.
If you love your child without following islam's syariah, then you are actually creating a negative attitude on your child without intent. Reminds me of this statement, "Malay people are lazy". No, correct that statement. Those who are going under the comfortable zone, that's what we call lazy, not Malay.
Lastly, if you want to know if whether you love your parents more or you parents love you more, try asking yourself this.
"Which one -you or your parents loves Allah dearly? If they love Allah -worship more and etc, then they love you more than you love them".
Love must be with iman for those who are in iman are with Allah. Love is by showing first but having it as an unconditional love is by loving Allah.
Now since I myself am just 17 and obviously not a professional on parenting advise (but will soon be), so I'll say this on behalf on the child's side to make an easier viewing. If your parents gave you a wonderful name, you have an amazing mother and you've been given all kinds of teachings, please appreciate your parents.
It's hard to love your parents with the feeling of being in love towards someone because that feeling came from yourself naturally when they have nothing to do with you. Parents, on the other hand, is readily there so the feeling of 'I'd do anything for you' isn't the same. They're differ. But with respect, every parent deserves being called for a sacrifice by us.
By conclusion, not only that you'd love your parents more, but you're preparing on the main aspects of being a parent yourself. (never too young for parenting advice aite?). Wallahualam.
