Hey there!
So, I have thought vast and widely about my firm choice of
being a doctor. Or rather to say, moving to specialist.
I have a problem for the process. What is that?
I’m not easy to remember facts or complicated names of a
particular organ. Memorizing, to me, is a burden. Reality is I’m not a girl who
enjoys spending her time studying 24 hours.
A part of me when I was in form 4 I thought I should be in
Yale. A class where I’d take for innovating. That’s better, since I like to
draw plus all my projects were always based on creating or building parts up
rather than proving chemical solutions. My first ambition was to be an
architect really.
I think, real hard, that reality is my abilities doesn’t have
to do with medicine. Yet I still stick firm to this perception of trying to do
something that is what I assume beyond my abilities. And besides, what’s a life
without challenging yourself further of your limits?
The first reason is, my grandmother whom I call ‘Tok’ dreams
of having one of our family members to become a doctor. So far all her
relatives are pilots, bankers, architects, lecturers and etc. Not even a single
one of them is a doctor. She took care of me since I was a child. So I guess it’s
a way to reflect my sign of gratitude for all her endless love and care for me.
The second reason is, I have an admiration of helping people
getting over their pain. I love to be a part of someone’s life that needs an
ignition to keep living. I don’t see myself wanting to work in an office
dealing with papers or computer screens. I love being myself talking to
strangers and make sure they’re safe and sound. They make me appreciate life
even more.
During the moment for the first time I was involved in a
charity work, I realized these people don’t have the medications they need. I
feel sad. There’s nothing I can do to help much. I’m very much affected by
people around me. Their fears and pain saddens me. From that moment, I promised
myself I’d become a doctor and find alternatives to help these unfortunate souls
to get medications without needing to pay high fees. Being able to be a doctor
is not only a profession for me, but also a way to do charity.
Don’t mean to
offend, but if I become an accountant, for example, what charity can I do when
I don’t have much money to give to those in need? Most probably I have to wait
until I become wealthy.
Doctor, by case, is not about seeking money and lend to
people in need. It’s about healing people in need physically and sometimes with
speaking talents, emotionally.
The last reason is I am just an average Muslim who tends to
chase my dreams for the sake of dunia’. I have to admit I’m not religious
enough to be expecting a life doing what Islam teaches us in every daily
routine. What’s compulsory, I will sure to do. What’s not, I would leave some
behind. This means I will only remember Allah when I pray 5 times a day. Not
much right?
I need to get over this problem and think of a way that what
I chase for dunia’ can be able to remind me of Allah, even, when it is not the
time to pray. I guess that’s my main reason why I’m interested on becoming a
doctor. Because it’s something I do, no matter how busy I am treating my
patients, I still can remind myself of Him. How? Because each moan of pain
reminds me to appreciate being healthy. Because every day I will see dying
people that’ll remind me of death. Because I know by just visiting sick people
I can get tons of deed. How many more deeds will I get if I treat them then?
You see, no matter how I further myself for dunia’ as a
doctor and specialize, no matter how happy and reluctant I’ll be when I have a
wonderful family, no matter how determined I am to make things better, being a
doctor, I cannot run myself out forgetting Allah.
Again, I’m not too religious.
I need an ignition.
I need a job that’ll remind me of Allah so I don’t go astray
and corrupt myself.
What can I do? Find a husband that’ll remind me of Islam
through his acts? Yes. True. But then it’s not likely to depend on another
being. Come on, we girls are independent as well aren’t we? So find an
alternative to dream high in life for the sake of Allah.
For my category, really, I am someone who wants to succeed
in life. In Malay, I say, saya sangatlah
kejar dunia lebih daripada akhirat. I’m not you perhaps, who can do both dunia’ and ukhrawi’ matters in separate matters and still maintain to do it.
Therefore, those are the reasons why I want to be a
specialized doctor. Simple as it sounds but truly, I say, doctor isn’t a lifeless
job.
Indeed, what’s left
is to pray my results are outstanding enough for me to make the first step of
achieving my dreams.
Insya-Allah.
