I know, again, I'm suppose to be writing about transgender. It'll be tomorrow, don't worry. OH GOD. I'd say this straightly.
I want to grow up quickly.
I'm tired of being bored.
I want to be a specialized doctor as soon as possible.
PLEASE.
I don't wanna rest anymore.
I want to go to medical lectures straight away.
I'm so in love with the hospital.
Another day of craziness overwhelming me. Aha. Right. On the very last evening I tagged along with my mum to General Hospital Kuala Lumpur to meet her friend she newly met. Nurses everywhere walking through the pavement and the corridors of the hospital compound. They're smiling and grinning without me having hints what was all that about. No need. I feel jealous a bit. Cause prob they're loving their job in this medical field. The scent of the place was somehow rather welcoming. Remaining silent I followed by mum from the back while gazing at the medical appliances they've neatly rearranged for further patient treatments.
Patience Af.
I know you want to touch it so badly.
My mum's friend had suffered this cancer which had vastly spread to the legs, resulting in the inability to walk again. It was all due to breast cancer. Probably cause the prevention wasn't reliable enough so the virus hit her nerve system as well as attacking her bones. No cure really. It's kinda too late for any treatments or surgeries cause it has infected her whole body. Masya-Allah. Please be grateful to Allah S.W.T that we're still in perfect condition. Really, if I were her there's nothing I can do but to accept that I'm near death's door. May all of us be placed in those who are grateful to Allah insya-Allah.
Though I've only learned Biology in a not-so-specific-complex way but to be honest I'm so excited when I seem to understand everything or the explainations regarding to the cause or how the disease was spread in the first place. Then when we're finished her son -probably 25+ was talking outside with some person. No need to even ask what was his profession. He's a specialized doctor. Oh please. I was jealous. The funny thing was I didn't understand why he seemed to glow like an angel. Good looking? Very much. But that's not the reason. Eww no. I feel like I was looking at myself in the mirror. The way he talks, how professional he seems to sound. He's the exact character I was being really. And he's a doctor.
My mum realized that too so we laughed cause we were thinking of the same thing after all. I adored doctors way of seeming to confident on handling their patients. Helping them to get better and stand on their feet again. To be able to be God's way on healing a person, most importantly. That's when I hoped time would get a little faster. I'm jealous. Yeah, I am. I just can't wait to be in their shoes. I know, I say as if there are so many chances on becoming one. No, I know, but what if that's the only thing you love? I could still remember a classmate of mine spoke up, denying the acceptance of me on taking medics.
" Af, you know there are at least 4000 unemployed doctors in Malaysia for just this year. You're not gonna make it. Plus, if MARA offers you a scholarship on accountancy, wouldn't you rather accept it instead?",
That was the most rubbish statement I've heard in my life.
The fact?
True.
The advice?
No way man.
My concept is easy. Do what makes you happy. Maybe I wouldn't be able to get a job in a hospital someday. But come on, what's our aim? Help those who are sick or in need. Money? Make a bussiness. No complaints on that. What's a life by just collecting money? Okay it's important for guys for family finance but really? Nothings impossible. Besides what's the use of being a global leadership anyway? It'd take me to bump my head during a fall from the staircase and then suddenly have an interest in accountancy to change my mind.
I don't give a care if now it's a trend on going for engineering due to highly needs of fresh engineers within the future to come. Gaji tinggi. Gaji banyakk. Kaya wehh. Oh okay. I get the point. Goodluck on that.
No offense, if you like engineering, go on. But don't ever, like ever, try to change your friends target on their future. Jobless or not it's like you seem to know what the future holds. Be what you want to be.
3rd January 2014, seminar hall, 9.15 am.
Abang Raja - the motivator. He spoke in front of the whole batch with the mike on.
"Afrina, awak nak jadi doctor kan?,"
Nod.
" Jangan risau, awak memang akan jadi doctor pun,"
"Oh God,"
"Kahwin pun dengan doktor, tapi dia bukan sekolah ni, dia sekolah lain,"
Laughs.
"Handsome orangya,"
Blush.
"Tapi kene sabar, dia banyak scandal. Kalau ada masalah, contact Abang Raja ye",
Aha.
Wait.
What?
From that very moment, I knew I had to struggle. I don't believe it totally cause if I do I'd be considered as doing syirik. You're not suppose to believe what people say about your future. But I know he was serious besides gifted due to same birth date as our dear Prophet. Anyway, I only assume it as a life goal -except that future oh-please-no husband of course. It's still so fresh in my mind till now. Again, I don't believe it but it's been a positive permanent encouragement ever. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. What matters is hoping what I've done for SPM after my struggles would be worth it and I'd be able to apply for Taylor's at least for medics. Insya-Allah.
Just in case if you're wondering, yeah, the future husband thing kinda hit me hard in the face.
